Hostess With The Mostess

Much has been written about The Great Twinkie Meltdown. Families have been ripped apart, careers have been ruined, dreams have been crushed. But the Twinkie is only one of the life-changing morsels Hostess makes. Before these revolutions in baking go the way of Zayre and Lechmere (for my Massachusetts peeps,) let's weigh-in (so to speak.)

Twinkies: It goes without saying these are awesome. No homemade cake ever tasted quite like these (not sure if that's good or bad.) And those holes on the bottom were marvels of modern science.


Blueberry Pies. For people who love that blueberry taste without the pesky antioxidants, plus a translucent frosting. This "fruit" pie has successfully stomped the blueberry of any of its original nutritional value.


Powdered Mini Donuts. One of my High School friends ate these with Andy Capp Hot Fries and Mountain Dew for breakfast every Saturday. What could possibly go wrong?



Chocolate Cupcakes: Not to be outdone by my friend above, a guy I worked with at Smith & Wesson had these cupcakes and a Coke for breakfast every DAY. And it was bad times if the vending machine was out of cupcakes. (I mentioned this was at Smith & Wesson, right?)



Snoballs. Take fake cake and add fake coconut. Such a deal.

I bid you farewell, Hostess. And if you're in the unemployment line and see a magician wearing a cape, holding a wand in one hand and baked goods in the other, please be kind to him.