An Open Letter To March

                                                        

                                                         Dear March,

I don't want to be rude, but do you know you're one of the worst months?

Your weather is horrible, you have no holidays (sorry, my Irish friends, unless it's a day off, it's not a holiday,) and you're too long (31 days.) Plus, your name is a verb. But now I'm heaping on.

Look, people want to like you. You give them hope that Spring is coming after February. But then you give us days like today...accumulating snow and more wind and cold.  Heck, some days in January are better.

What you need is an image makeover.   Both my kids were born in March, so I do have some personal connection. I'd be glad to help.

Maybe some slogans? "March: It beats being dead." "March: Looks better on the calendar than a colonoscopy" "March: I'm hatin' it." or "March: Even winning the brackets and boozing it up on St Patty's Day won't make it better."

You know what? Actually, I can't help. I'm going out like a lamb...or lion or whatever.   How many days until April?

Sincerely,

Ken West